So, How Did the Elephant Get Here?

It was a sublime moment with my then 5-year-old in 2018.

It was the end of the school day, and I asked our son about the highlights of his Kindergarten class. He mentioned that he didn't get a 'smiley' at school for listening; he was talking too much at recess and shared storytime. He took the smileys very seriously!

After a few failed attempts at explaining the concept of active listening, I tried a more simplified illustration, and the conversation went like this – 

Me: OK, let’s try this. What animal has a big mouth?

Son: A hippo

Me: (pauses as I was not expecting the answer, and a light bulb goes off in my head) Yes, yes…and they also have small ears. What animal has big ears?

Son: A giraffe?

Me: Giraffes have long necks; I’m thinking big ears and gray with a trunk

Son: An elephant

Me: Yes, so what does an elephant have that’s different from a hippo?

Son: A trunk! (I asked for that answer)

Me: Yes, however, an elephant has big ears and a smaller mouth than a hippo. So when you need to listen with ‘big ears’ to your teachers, Daddy or me, you need to be more…

Son: Elephant

Me: Right, and less hippo

To this day, we use the elephant analogy with our kids when we want them to think about active listening.

Elephants are also known to display significant empathy and compassion. They care for each other, and the herd operates in balance – a perfect metaphor for improving our professional and personal experiences. To be clear, the Rudman-McCray family likes hippos in nature 😀. In striving for more active, empathetic listening and learning, we strive for much less hippo and More Elephant!

Launching More Elephant is my full-circle moment.

The true impetus for More Elephant starts with growing up in England and wanting to be a news anchor and journalist for the BBC. I wanted to learn about and report on issues that had the potential to shape a better world. To understand the human condition and what we do collectively to change it for the better has always spoken to me as a worthwhile pursuit to be involved with. 

However, I deferred this initial dream as I told myself I wasn’t born in the right “class.” The BBC journalists when I was growing up sounded very “proper.” When I spoke, aside from people thinking I was from the wrong class, I feared that people would instantly know I was gay. Being gay in late 20th century England was to live life with few positive representations of LGBTQ success and a great deal of institutional shaming. What right did I have to dare to dream big and speak up for the human condition? 

While that dream did not manifest, I have realized other dreams. I have helped the homeless LGBTQ community in New York City. I have worked on solutions to close the digital divide for people of color and rural communities in Cleveland. I have also helped investors fund micro giving to ensure families avert preventable crises. Perhaps because I put my initial dream aside, I don’t want others to put theirs aside because they lack access to resources or feel somehow outside the system. I have learned the simple lesson that solving the problems of others can help us live a more connected, personal life. I have used this lesson in my most important role as father to two brilliant kids and husband to the amazing Alvin McCray! 

More Elephant is a manifestation of the original BBC dream and my desire for access, connection, and compassion for all.

This is personal to me because I experienced a world that had no “ears” for me for more than half my life. While I will not always be the best messenger for every issue or idea, creating a platform to listen and learn from a multitude of voices to give life to their ideas is why More Elephant matters.

We have more in common than we often dare to voice. We can be more intentional with our listening and learn from others to have a more meaningful impact, professionally and personally, on the world. How do we design a life that puts "us" at the center and, by intentionally listening and learning from each other, asks, "How can we celebrate ideas and activate change to fuel a higher degree of inclusivity and meaning?” 

Listen. Learn. Live. Better. More Elephant.